Dealing With the Past

There seem to be two main ways of dealing with your past: fight it bravely, hoping you will survive it but knowing that you'll die fighting or else try to hide from it for as long as you can.

the winning side

Sylar: We're all at war with ourselves; that's what it means to be human. Trick is figuring out how to be on the winning side.

Heroes; Its Coming

Chance

"You thought we could be decent men, in an indecent time! [pauses]..you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel word is chance [holds up coin]..unbiased..unprejudiced..fair. "

Harvey Dent/ Two-Face; The Dark Knight

Tears And Rain - James Blunt

"Tears And Rain"- James Blunt

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Tears and Rain.

Tears and Rain.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

What God can be...

Most of us, when think of God, assume that God is All-powerful, All-knowing, Just and so on. These attributes can sometimes be 'questioned' when they seem to contradict reality. Forexample some people being born rich while others being born poor doesnt seem to point to God being Just. Similarly God being All-Knowing and Just may not seem to fit exactly with the idea of free-will. And so on... many more examples can be put here.

However what if God does not have these attributes? What if God is not all-powerful, all-knowing, just or any of the other attributes that we associate with him? In that case the way things are in this world would make more sense. What if God is not Merciful or Just? That would explain all the mysery and pain we suffer. What if God is not All-knowing or All-powerful? What if even God does not know what the future is ? or What if God is Evil?

Bottom line: God, if exists, can have any 'qualities' and our assumed qualities could be wrong.

Diary of a Bitter man

Its something I wrote a long time ago:

It is strange how at times even the soft touch of rain can feel like the burning sting of acid, how a shade of green can appear to be like some weird version of red and how the shining stars can make your world feel even darker than usual. That’s how life can be… for a man who is bitter enough. For him, life is simple: everything is fake in one sense or the other. In fact it comes as a painful realization that others can’t see what he can see, that maybe they are not capable enough to look beyond the boundaries of their everyday reflections. That maybe they are not gifted enough or perhaps willing enough to see how every single thing of an ordinary life is fake, self-made and entirely pointless! That every step they are taking just leads to another senseless step. Maybe they know that, maybe they realize it but whatever the case is, the end result is that they keep the wheel rotating and expect everyone to do the same. Faith, emotions, religion, relationships… everything becomes like pieces of shattered glass that can never be joined together, that never were.


Try existing behind even the darkest corner of your mind and you’ll see. You’ll realize the unrealistic nature of everything. You’ll become aware that you’re all alone in the true sense. No one wants to see that we just exist. That perhaps we’re the outcome of some sick joke of god. Everyone wants to hope, wants to believe, wants to find a higher purpose; everyone except a bitter man. For he knows what/who he is and that there is nothing noble in hoping or in believing. A bitter man is alone … prefers to be alone for there is hardly anyone who can see what he can see. This world is no place for a bitter man; he deserves better.

The Sadist God

While browsing through Bertrand Russel’s book “A Free Man’s Worship” I came across a paragraph portraying the sadist version of God. It is a beautiful piece of writing, mocking the futility of our lives and beliefs. I am sure most of us can relate to it maybe rather more closely than we would like to admit.

From Bertrand Russel’s “A Free Man’s Worship” :

To Dr. Faustus in his study Mephistopheles told the history of the Creation, saying:
“The endless praises of the choirs of angels had begun to grow wearisome; for, after all, did he not deserve their praise? Had he not given them endless joy? Would it not be more amusing to obtain undeserved praise, to be worshipped by beings whom he tortured? He smiled inwardly, and resolved that the great drama should be performed.

“For countless ages the hot nebula whirled aimlessly through space. At length it began to take shape, the central mass threw off planets, the planets cooled, boiling seas and burning mountains heaved and tossed, from black masses of cloud hot sheets of rain deluged the barely solid crust. And now the first germ of life grew in the depths of the ocean, and developed rapidly in the fructifying warmth into vast forest trees, huge ferns springing from the damp mould, sea monsters breeding, fighting, devouring, and passing away. And from the monsters, as the play unfolded itself, Man was born, with the power of thought, the knowledge of good and evil, and the cruel thirst for worship. And Man saw that all is passing in this mad, monstrous world, that all is struggling to snatch, at any cost, a few brief moments of life before Death’s inexorable decree. And Man said: `There is a hidden purpose, could we but fathom it, and the purpose is good; for we must reverence something, and in the visible world there is nothing worthy of reverence.’ And Man stood aside from the struggle, resolving that God intended harmony to come out of chaos by human efforts. And when he followed the instincts which God had transmitted to him from his ancestry of beasts of prey, he called it Sin, and asked God to forgive him. But he doubted whether he could be justly forgiven, until he invented a divine Plan by which God’s wrath was to have been appeased. And seeing the present was bad, he made it yet worse, that thereby the future might be better. And he gave God thanks for the strength that enabled him to forgo even the joys that were possible. And God smiled; and when he saw that Man had become perfect in renunciation and worship, he sent another sun through the sky, which crashed into Man’s sun; and all returned again to nebula.

“`Yes,’ he murmured, `it was a good play; I will have it performed again.’”